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Lyrics to "My Name Is Thomas..."

My Name is Thomas

My name is Thomas

And I want so much

I need to know you

I need to feel your touch

 

                (Choir) Follow your faith and there I’ll be

                I can’t find it

                (Choir) Take of my love and you’ll be free

                I can’t feel it

                I really need to know

What is a good man?

What does a good man do?

Why am I searching

When I should know the truth

 

                (Choir) Open your heart and let me in

                I can’t do it

                (Choir) Trust in the word and hear again

                I can’t hear it

                I really need to know

 

Bridge

                And everyday

                I pray with my heart

                I see the design

                In each little part

                Bathed in the light

                Safe in your hands

                I give you my vow

                You give me the chance

Instrumental verse

 

(Thomas puts on his clerical collar)

 

Bridge

                All of my life

                I knew who I was

                I traveled the path

                That was so obvious

                Wrapped in your arms

                I drank from the cup

                I swore on my soul

                It would be enough

 

Today is a new day

Another day to exist

Why am I living

Is there a meaning I’ve missed?

 

(Choir) Blessed are they that have not seen

 

I can’t see it

                (Choir) Yet in their hearts they still believe

                Why believe it

                What has gone wrong with me

My name is Thomas

And I want so much

 

 

 

Fooled So Bad

I’ve been told maybe more than I need

I got a face only mom could love

Of all the things I had to take to heart

I went and picked what would tear me up

       Everyone’s got a cross to bear

They made me feel that I was theirs

 

They didn’t think I’d amount to much

I’d been corrupted by my education

All the things that I’d want to be

They’d say it’s all my imagination

But somehow I found someone to believe

And somehow I hope she never will see

 

(Chorus)

I got her fooled so bad

Into loving someone just like me

I got her fooled so bad

Into loving someone just like me

 

Never did nothing good enough

They never gave me satisfaction

They didn’t ask me what I want

They didn’t look for my reaction

And they knew that she wasn’t for me

Well it may be true, but she’s what I need

 

Repeat (Chorus)

 

(Bridge)

I heard that stuff almost everyday

You’re nothing, it’s always gonna be that way

Then something inside just rises up

You need to feel that touch

 

I thought about the easy way out

I thought about my situation

They believed that I had to be saved

And I believed in my own damnation

You can’t believe everything that you hear

There always was a reason to care

 

Repeat (Chorus)

 

I Would Do Anything

I would do anything for You

Or even more if You want that too

Spend all my time

To be with You

I would do anything

 

I would do anything for You

Give up my job if You want me to

Not pay my bills

To give to You

I would do anything, for You dear

 

People:

Chorus:

You tell me I'm the lucky one, it's just

One of Your promises

You tell me You’re the only one, it's just

One of Your promises

 

Thomas:

I would do anything for You

Give up my home if You want me to

Live more or less

Just for You

I would do anything, for You dear

 

(repeat Chorus)

 

Thomas & People:

I would do anything for You

Climb every hill and mountain too

Nothing's too small

I wouldn't do

I would do anything

 

Thomas:

I would do anything for You

Change all my ways, if You want me to

Give up my life

Just for You

Thomas & People:

I would do anything, for You dear

I would do anything, for You dear

(As everyone sings along with the ending crescendo, they leave the church; Thomas greets his parents and John.)

 

 

Brain Dead*

You wonder why you'll never get respected

You prove it every single time you speak

Maybe you should have your brain inspected

You're down a quart have someone plug that leak

 

Your demeanor leaves a lot to be desired

It's not surprising just how low it steeps

The kind of fool that always shoots their mouth off

The kind that never looks before they leap

 

BRAIN DEAD              BRAIN DEAD

 

So who or what's it gonna be tomorrow

You tear down with your stunted point of view

You're a toxic waste that's best to be avoided

A black hole spinning in the cosmic stew

 

So pardon me I've got just one suggestion

I'm sorry if it seems a little crass

But someone has to be a voice of reason

Get a grip and pull your head out of your ass

 

BRAIN DEAD                BRAIN DEAD

 

BRAIN DEAD                BRAIN DEAD

 

 

 

Scene 5:  They arrive at Mom & Dad’s house.  Everyone says their piece, around the dining room table, but no one seems to hear each other, except for John.

 

Thomas:  (Spoken) Upon learning of John’s girlfriend’s pregnancy, mom and dad basically disowned him.  They also believed that we should marry our “own kind” and Mary was not what the good Lord or they were expecting.  Somehow, all of our beliefs take on a sacred status, even the ones we create.  I’ve tried to explain otherwise to them, but basically, our family exploded.

 

Bless This Mess

I am a man, I got me a wife

I raise up my sons, I live me a life

And I work every day, and I work every night

But she don’t understand, and the kids only fight

 

My home is my castle

And I am its king

But you think you know something

And you don’t know a thing

It was just for the children

We stayed until the end

Can this be the plan?

 

(Chorus)

Bless this mess, bless this mess, bless this mess, bless this mess

 

Mom:

I am the wife, the mother of the boys

My heart is a stone, my words only noise

And I give up my time, like I give up my life

To get nothing back, it’s just a sacrifice

 

Every day is a battle

Every day is the same

If they knew what I was feeling

If they only knew the pain

No thanks from the children

It should happen to them

Can this be the plan?

 

(Chorus)

Bless this mess, bless this mess, bless this mess, bless this mess

 

(Bridge)

Don’t say that it don’t mean a thing

There must be reward in the end

I know that we need to believe

But why is it always me?

 

Thomas:

I am a son; I do what I’m told

And the sins of the past, to the young from the old

And I thought that our home, was more than a show

But the more that I learn, the less that I know

 

They care about appearance, don’t care about fact

They hide their desperation, don’t talk about that

Now my brother’s a stranger that I don’t understand

Can this be the plan?

 

                (Chorus)

                Bless this mess, bless this mess, bless this mess, bless this mess… (vamp and out)

 

You Don’t Know Me

Take a look at my face

And see what you want to

It must be some kind of sacred conceit

That makes you think I should be like you

I don’t believe in what you do

I don’t believe you want to know the truth

 

I’m so insecure

But you know what you want to

It must be some kind of sacred disease

That makes you think someone’s blessing you

I don’t believe you know what to do

I don’t believe you really have a clue

 

Chorus:

       And you don’t know me, you don’t know me

You don’t know me, you don’t know me

 

You want save my life

And love me to death

I’d like to give you my thanks for the prayer

But I’d sooner choke on my last breath

I don’t believe in your way to live

I don’t believe there’s something to forgive

(Chorus)

Bridge:

You don’t know me

You want to run my life

You don’t know me

You want to twist the knife

You don’t know me

I don’t get a chance

You don’t know me

Well you can kiss my ass

 

You can’t look at my heart

You don’t even want to

You just say that I’m living a lie

Just because I don’t share your truth

You have no need to understand me

You have no need to live and let me be

 

Chorus:

And you don’t know me, you don’t know me

You don’t know me, you don’t know me

You don’t hear me, you don’t see me

You don’t care for me, you don’t help me

You don’t feel me, you don’t talk to me

You don’t love me; you don’t know me…………… (off my knees at last)

 

Drunk***

May you always hear the footsteps

May you live through your bad trips

May you always be disgusting with a beer at your lips

May you always wear leather jackets

May you always be a punk

And may you stay forever drunk

 

May you always be drinking

May you vomit every night

May you never be sober and never have sight

May you always be staggering

May you stink like a skunk

And may you stay forever drunk

 

Everyone except Thomas:

                Chorus:

                Forever drunk, forever drunk

                May you stay forever drunk

 

May you curse like a sailor

May you always find a drink

May you beg, borrow or steal for it and not care what others think

May you fight people in barrooms

May you sleep in a trunk

And may you stay forever drunk

 

                Bridge:

                Livin' in a funk, every day and month

                You never thunk, that's what you'd become

                So raise a glass, to a self-made man

                Every day and month, forever drunk

 

May your liver get cirrhosis

May all your brain cells die

May you drink away your problems and not have the sense to cry

May your heart always be broken

May your ships always be sunk

And may you stay forever drunk

May you live in the Bowery

May you eat from garbage cans

May you always be jobless and a pawn in other people’s hands

John:

May you share a pint with Satan

May you live like a monk

May you stay forever drunk

 

Everyone except Thomas:

                Chorus:

                Forever drunk, forever drunk

                May you stay forever drunk, forever drunk

                May you stay forever drunk

 

No Faith

People say I seem very cold

Ignore the young don't respect the old

I just don't see all the good things that they do

I wonder who it was invented hate

You want respect, well you have to wait

You know you have to give the devil his due

I don't care if you close your eyes

Well I'm awake

I've got no faith in you

 

Hey preacher well you like to sermonize

And if it's fun you'll only criticize

You tell me all the things that I can't do

But don't you know you're a hypocrite

All the things you say you I gotta quit

We all know that you gotta be doin' it too

So send your money for you to keep

Go to hell

I've got no faith in you

 

Everyone except Thomas:

Chorus

Human race, big disgrace, taught to hate, discriminate

Just a waste, alienate, getting late, got no faith

Got no faith in you

 

Everyone loves to wave the flag

You're oh so proud and you like to brag

I don't know what it is you have to prove

Where you're born is just random chance

The way you talk and the way you dance

And in a war you'll do what you're told to do

You think that's loyal, you think that's cool

Go kill yourself

I've got no faith in you

 

(repeat Chorus)

 

Well I'm confused over all your gods

There's one for each and they're all at odds

Everyone has got there point of view

I don't care about my heritage

I don't care about no sacrilege

I never claimed that I knew the truth

Can't be sure of anything

 

But that's all right

There's still no faith in you

Got no faith in you

Got no faith in you

Got no faith in you

 

I Just Want to Look at You (This song is on the “mostly True Stories CD due to lack of space on the “My Name is Thomas” CD)

I just want to look at you

I just want to look at you

The hair around your shoulders

The fullness of your lips

The color of your body

The way you move your hips

Mary (To John):

I just want to hold you near

I just want to hold you near

I feel your arms around me

You pressed against my chest

The rhythm of your heartbeat

The warmness of your breath

 

(Chorus)

I don’t know

What brought us together

I just know how I feel

I just know that it’s real

Everyday we’d search for the answer

But this is what it meant

It feels so innocent

 

(Bridge)

Can’t give you Paradise

Can’t ask you to believe

We only have this life

And everything will die

All the rest’s a lie

 

I just want to sleep with you

I just want to sleep with you

To know that you’re beside me

And know that you are there

To wake with you each morning

Each moment that we share

 

(Chorus)

I don’t know

What brought us together

I just know how I feel

I just know that it’s real

Everyday we’d search for the answer

But this is what it meant

It feels so innocent

 

I just want to look at you.

 

Kill Yourself*

If you’re lost in despair and you’ve given up hope

You can solve your little problem with a chair and some rope

Go on and kill yourself if you got nothin’ else to live for

Go on and kill yourself

 

You’ve been in nothin’ but trouble since the day you arrived

You brain was deceased but your body survived

Go on and kill yourself instead of doin’ harm to others

Go on and kill yourself

 

Well you could jump off a bridge or fall on a knife

There’s a million ways to do it end your pitiful life

Go on and kill yourself yeah go on and kill yourself

It’s sure to cure your strange behavior

Go on and kill yourself

 

You’ve been to see the doctor, you’ve been to see a priest

But neither one could help you at all to say the least

Your common sense is lacking, your soul black as pitch

Got a list of some suggestions if you ever get the itch

To kill yourself yeah go on and kill yourself

If you’re immune to acting human go on and kill yourself

 

For your method of choice, you know I couldn’t care less

Just take the time and effort and don’t leave a mess

When you kill yourself why don’t you do the world a favor

Go on and kill yourself

 

Well you could pop in some pills they say the third rail’s a snap

You can choose a custom coffin for your long dirt nap

Go on and kill yourself yeah go on and kill yourself

Why don’t you do the world a favor go on and kill yourself

 

‘Cause you’ve been wearin’ out your welcome on everyone you know

With your nasty little habits and now it’s time to go

Hope to see you in the obits with a headline at the top

Body found slain result of 12-gauge lollipop

So kill yourself yeah go on and kill yourself

Why don’t you do us all a favor go on and kill yourself

 

Go on and do it, go on and do it, yeah there’s nothin’ to it

Just go on and do it, why don’t you do the world a favor

Go on and kill yourself

Everybody

Do it (repeat)

Why don’t you do the world a favor

Go on and kill yourself

 

I’m So Scared

I'm so scared

I'm so scared

Feel like a child that's lost its mother

A bomb underground

A building comes down

People die as we watch and wonder

You know that night

When I turned out the light

Just had to curse these human hands

 

We walk down the street

Our eyes never meet

Feel like there's battle lines between us

We don't wanna know

We say it isn't so

Just wanna leave it all to Jesus

And every day

While believers pray

We can do what praying can't

 

And the word of god

To the sheep in the fold

The original sin

To the young from the old

 

                Bridge:

                Now I lay him down to sleep

                Now I lay him down

                I will give my love to keep

                I will give my love

                And I learn every day

                He shows me the way

                Though the sky's full of rain

                It's a beautiful day

                Surrounded by hate

                And the blindness of faith

                How do I let him know?

                Now I lay him down to sleep

                Now I lay him down

 

I'm so scared

I'm so scared

Feel like a child that's lost its mother

Living lives all alone

Always fear the unknown

Never try to reach each other

And every day

While believers pray

The world is in our hands

 

And the word of god

To the sheep in the fold

The original sin

To the young from the old

 

The word of god

To the sheep in the fold

The original sin

To the young from the old

 

I Envy the Dead*

I envy the dead

They don’t have to get up in the morning

I envy the dead

Stay dry outside in the rain when it’s pouring

I envy the dead

 

No need to worry ‘bout war or hate

Don’t even think about losin’ weight

Resting in peace wouldn’t that be great oh yeah

 

I envy the dead

Built in excuse for the person who’s lazy

I envy the dead

Your only job would be pushing up daisies

I envy the dead

 

Won’t be a victim of budget cuts

Sneak up on Hitler kick him in his nuts

don’t have to deal with those ifs, ands or buts no more

 

I envy the dead

Just think of all the walls you could walk through

I envy the dead

Just think of all the souls you could talk to

I envy the dead

 

Bridge:

Just a spirit out floatin’ free

Nobody nothin’ gonna hinder me

Cash in my chips after the battles been fought

I’ll kick this bucket on this farm I bought

No stupid moron gonna make my blood boil

I long to shuffle off this mortal coil

Dearly departed guess that’s what they’ll say

As they toss some flowers on my grave

Such as shame he had to pass away so young

 

I envy the dead

Unlocked are secrets that life has kept hidden

I envy the dead

They’ve got the answers to questions forbidden

I envy the dead

 

But what if bein’ dead ain’t so great

I’ll have to make do in this solid state

Until I’m chosen by the hand of fate oh well

 

I envy the dead

They don’t have to get up in the morning

I envy the dead

 

Nothing

Every night I lie awake

I think about my next mistake

Do you wonder about it all?

Or does it matter anymore

 

You want an answer, you want the world

You want it faster, you want the world

I get the feeling that you don’t know

Why you’re going the way you go

 

Pre-chorus

You see it

You touch it

You need it

You take it

You have it

You use it

You got it

All you’ve got is nothin’

 

Chorus

Without love is nothing

Besides love is nothing

After love is nothing

 

You’re the greatest, you’re even more

You got the biggest I ever saw

You got the fire, you’re gonna burn

You’re just a liar, you never learn

 

Pre-chorus

You say it

You dream it

You find it

You believe it

You feel it

You know it

You are it

All you are is … nothing

 

I don’t have a single prayer

I don’t have a penny’s share

You think you’ve got the only truth

You think you got the only proof

 

God Shaped Hole

There’s a God shaped hole in my heart

There’s a God shaped hole in my heart

I can’t face myself

I got no one else

There’s a God shaped hole in my heart

 

There’s a God shaped hole in my head

There’s a God shaped hole in my head

What I once believed

I was self-deceived

There’s a God shaped hole in my head

 

Bridge

I recall now, the way it used to be

I heard the words they would flow right through me

But now I listen and I can’t drink it up

Where’s the hand that I need to touch

 

There’s a God shaped hole in my life

There’s a God shaped hole in my life

There’s no place to hide

There’s no reason why

There’s a God shaped hole in my life

 

Bridge

I recall now, the way it used to be

I heard the words they would flow right through me

But now I listen and I can’t drink it up

Where’s the hand that I need to touch

 

God shaped hole in the world

There’s a God shaped hole in the world

We believe our lies

Everybody dies

There’s a God shaped hole in the world

 

God shaped hole, God shaped hole

 

Magic Butt**

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today

To pay our last respects to a soul that lost its way

It's my solemn duty to inform you of the fact

He wasn't very pious, there's no denying that

Though everyone comes knocking, very few will make the cut

If you want to get to heaven, you got to kiss the Magic Butt

 

It saddens me to say this, he doesn't have a prayer

He didn't go to service, he didn't really care

He asked too many questions, his faith was just a joke

He never repented, he doesn't have a hope

He never did get married, he was living with a slut

He’s on his way but not to heaven, he didn’t kiss the Magic Butt

 

                Bridge

Kiss the Magic Butt today

It will wash your sins away

It's the only one that works

All the rest will make it worse

 

You can be a killer and eat your victims too

No matter what your sin is, he’ll turn a cheek for you

Save a million people with a cure for a disease

Won't get you through the Pearly Gates unless you're on your knees

This is what He told me, I didn't make it up

If you want to get to heaven, you got to kiss the Magic Butt

 

instrumental interlude

 

Everyone except Thomas:

                Bridge 2

                Save me, save me, save me, save me...

 

Now dearly beloved, as we lay his soul to rest

We can learn from his mistakes and hope for the best

He wasn't very moral, I feel compelled to say

And rumors were in the air, some friends of his were gay

Now before I start forgetting, where's my check, now is it cut?

If you want to get to heaven, if you want to get to heaven, if you want to get to heaven

You got to kiss the Magic Butt

 

This Is Not the Way of Love

This is not the way of reason

This is not the way of love

We lay down in beds of sorrow

This is not the way of love

 

This not the world we're given

This is not the way to be

We were born as helpless brothers

This is not the way to be

 

No more fighting

No more lying

No more hurting

Over some foolish pride

No more faking

No more debating

No more waiting

It's time that we tried

 

This is not the way he taught us

He would turn the other cheek

You don’t need to be reborn

You don’t need to even believe

 

No more bombings

No more burnings

No more killing

'Cause our country is right

No more blind hate

No more blind ways

No more blind faith

That God's on our side

 

(People begin to leave and are gone by the end of this song.)

 

We need caring

We need giving

We need searching

All of the time

We need thinking

We need asking

We need reaching

To open our minds

 

This is not the way of reason

This is not the way of love

We lay down in beds of sorrow

This is not the way of love, this is not the way of love

 

Last Prayer

Our father who art in heaven

Hallowed be thy name

I closed my eyes, I closed my ears,

I closed my brain

 

From the moment I could talk

I prayed that I be saved

I came to have regret

For sins I can't explain

 

And I learned just what to say

And I learned just how to act

And I learned that the truth

Isn't altered by fact

 

And then I learned that there was us

And I learned that there was them

And I learned that we were the ones

Who were blessed, they were condemned

 

Chorus

                This is my last prayer

                This is my last prayer

                Off my knees at last

 

 

And I wondered is there something wrong

When I feel the way I do

Do I think too much?

Is my faith not true?

 

And he just wasn't there

When I looked up to the sky

There was no holy ghost

When I looked deep inside

 

repeat Chorus

 

I Don’t Know Why

I don’t know why

I love you like I do

I don’t know why

I love you like I do

There is no past

No destiny

There’s just the time

When you’re with me

 

I don’t know why

I feel the way I feel

I don’t know why

I feel the way I feel

There is no path

No place to go

There’s just your touch

That’s all I know

 

I don’t know why

I love you like I do

I don’t know why

I just do

 

Love Is the Only Priest

You may ask, why do we even bother

Here today, then we’re gone into the dust

You say sense can’t be made of it

You know the truth, it doesn’t fit

The answer’s just too rough

 

Every day, while the world is getting harder

Don’t you wait for that help from up above

Don’t need to dream or make believe

You’re really here right next to me

It should be just enough

 

                Chorus:

                Happiness is the only heaven

                Reasoning is the only light we need

                Justice is the only worship

                And love is the only priest

 

There’s no plan with your name upon it

There’s no road that will take you to the stars

You can miss your date with destiny

There is no sacred guarantee

But there’s something that is ours

 

                Chorus:

                Happiness is the only heaven

                Reasoning is the only light we need

                Justice is the only worship

                And love is the only priest

 

                Bridge:

                Don’t be late

                Or you’ll miss your chance

                It only comes

                Every day we wake up

 

                Chorus:

                Happiness is the only heaven

                Reasoning is the only light we need

                Justice is the only worship

                And love is the only priest

 

1995,6,7 G. Dantone; except * \ 1995,6,7 S. Cimino; ** 1997 G. Dantone and S. Cimino; and *** 1995 G. Dantone and M. Mattel

 

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